VENTING -- AN ESSENTIAL ACTIVITY
A response to the senseless college shootings in Montreal on Wed. Sept 13th:
We all have "des boules noires" -- big black knots of stress, frustration, anger and hatred in our guts -- because our societies, cultures, parents and institutions teach us to swallow the toxic emotions rather than vent or express them -- particularly if we're female. You have a shit day at work -- your boss calls you an idiot in front of your peers -- but you say and do nothing -- because you'd rather lose your self-respect than your job. Good Choice Joe!!! So instead of saying "Go fuck yourself" and asking if you can watch -- you swallow the anger -- and then you take it home to vent it on your wife and kids -- right??? Again, Good Choice Joe!!!
Here's what I learned to do with those boules noires in my gut from the sanest people I know -- the Red Man -- the native peoples of North America.
In the Red Man's Way, when your head, heart and body are full of toxins generated by the stresses in your life, you go for a walk in the woods by yourself. Once there, you take a stick and dig a hole in the earth, carefully moving the soil to one side. Then you lie down on your belly with your face positioned over the hole you dug and you vomit out the toxins. You scream and yell it all out -- with all the passion and rage in you. (In many cases, you actually vomit your guts out). Then, once you've emptied your toxin tank of the venomous bile you've been collecting since your last cleansing barf, you cover it up with the earth you moved to make the hole.
Then you rise and thank Gaia -- mother Earth -- for being big enough to carry that shit around within her -- because you can't. You're too weak and small for the task.
Sounds very SANE to me. And it corresponds to the Freudian concept of anal retention being the cause of so many fucked-up psyches. Actually, I'm working on a novel in which the Psychologists discover that it is BRAINAL RETENTION OF SHIT that screws us all up emotionally.
We test and worry about IQ -- but what about EQ??? -- emotional quotients???
We figure that as the kids get older, they'll learn to be civilized -- they'll have to discover on their own how to control their emotions -- so when your hulking 10 year old son beats the living daylights out of a smaller kid at school -- you figure "boys will be boys" or "all boys that age fight". Sure!!
And that's why the parents of the guy who wounded and killed people with an automatic weapon at a Montreal College yesterday were shocked to learn their son did this horrid thing.
Where the fuck have they been for the last few years?????? The guy had a blog that screamed violence, perversion and hatred -- did they know about it???? He posted photos of himself lovingly cradling his automatic weapon -- did they know about it???? And even if they did know about it -- would they be capable of doing something about it ?? -- or would they react as most of these parents do -- ignoring it -- or really -- pretending to ignore it?? Because once you've seen the signs that your kid is becoming evil incarnate, you can't forget it. It keeps smacking you in the head and heart -- every day -- and you make yourself sick with worry and inaction instead of taking action. Why?
A response to the senseless college shootings in Montreal on Wed. Sept 13th:
We all have "des boules noires" -- big black knots of stress, frustration, anger and hatred in our guts -- because our societies, cultures, parents and institutions teach us to swallow the toxic emotions rather than vent or express them -- particularly if we're female. You have a shit day at work -- your boss calls you an idiot in front of your peers -- but you say and do nothing -- because you'd rather lose your self-respect than your job. Good Choice Joe!!! So instead of saying "Go fuck yourself" and asking if you can watch -- you swallow the anger -- and then you take it home to vent it on your wife and kids -- right??? Again, Good Choice Joe!!!
Here's what I learned to do with those boules noires in my gut from the sanest people I know -- the Red Man -- the native peoples of North America.
In the Red Man's Way, when your head, heart and body are full of toxins generated by the stresses in your life, you go for a walk in the woods by yourself. Once there, you take a stick and dig a hole in the earth, carefully moving the soil to one side. Then you lie down on your belly with your face positioned over the hole you dug and you vomit out the toxins. You scream and yell it all out -- with all the passion and rage in you. (In many cases, you actually vomit your guts out). Then, once you've emptied your toxin tank of the venomous bile you've been collecting since your last cleansing barf, you cover it up with the earth you moved to make the hole.
Then you rise and thank Gaia -- mother Earth -- for being big enough to carry that shit around within her -- because you can't. You're too weak and small for the task.
Sounds very SANE to me. And it corresponds to the Freudian concept of anal retention being the cause of so many fucked-up psyches. Actually, I'm working on a novel in which the Psychologists discover that it is BRAINAL RETENTION OF SHIT that screws us all up emotionally.
We test and worry about IQ -- but what about EQ??? -- emotional quotients???
We figure that as the kids get older, they'll learn to be civilized -- they'll have to discover on their own how to control their emotions -- so when your hulking 10 year old son beats the living daylights out of a smaller kid at school -- you figure "boys will be boys" or "all boys that age fight". Sure!!
And that's why the parents of the guy who wounded and killed people with an automatic weapon at a Montreal College yesterday were shocked to learn their son did this horrid thing.
Where the fuck have they been for the last few years?????? The guy had a blog that screamed violence, perversion and hatred -- did they know about it???? He posted photos of himself lovingly cradling his automatic weapon -- did they know about it???? And even if they did know about it -- would they be capable of doing something about it ?? -- or would they react as most of these parents do -- ignoring it -- or really -- pretending to ignore it?? Because once you've seen the signs that your kid is becoming evil incarnate, you can't forget it. It keeps smacking you in the head and heart -- every day -- and you make yourself sick with worry and inaction instead of taking action. Why?
posted by Tammy the Tutor | 3:37 p.m.
2 Comments:
Like the Red Man, I like to take walkes by myself when I'm mad. Most of the time I go for a run or some excercise involving running and going fast because I find that it gets out all my energy and anger. I guess you could say it's my vomiting out my toxins in the hole in the woods. I guess that Gaia is absorbing all my anger and frustration with my every step as I run and I should thank her.
On the subject of the Dawson shooting... well I don't know what to say because that guy has no appreciation for anything in the world. And you are right, where the hell were the guys parents? Sure he was 25 and on his own but wouldn't they know that their son is totally insane and takes pictures of himself treating his machine guns like a little baby? I don't know how the world could have created such a monster. But he's not only to blame i think because his parents must have had some sort of impact on him a child and no parent wishes for their child to become a killer. I think he's insane and that's my word on it. (but it can't be just his insanity that provoked him. i dunno... he's messed up.) Thank you for this Tammy!
xox
Kristen :D
Dear Kristen,
You say "I don't know how the world could have created such a monster." Well, consider yourself priviledged in your naivete -- but, unfortunately, some day soon you're going to have to learn how it happens because it happens in every generation throuoghout history .
See, you come from a compassionate, caring family -- as a matter of fact, those 2 words appear on the sign in your Dad's office (dentist) which promises his patients "compassionate, caring dental treatment". So of course you can't understand how the world could create such a monster -- because your world is full of positive, nourishing stimuli and people. You've been loved, cherished, pampered and appreciated.
Do you think it would be easier to understand if -- throughout your childhood, you'd been verbally abused, threatened and beaten regularly by your father as well as left unprotected and uncomforted by your mother? When all you have to look forward to every new day is more abuse (physical and verbal) from the other guys in your home nest, you can only hope it will end. And death puts an end to it -- doesn't it?
He said what he wanted on his blog, this monster. He said: "I WANT TO DIE in a hail of bullets" -- so, he went to Dawson and got what he wanted -- and to hell with the consequences for others!
When you're treated with indifference and lack of compassion in your youth -- and don't kid yourself -- that's exactly what our schools, hospitals and cities do -- you can never develop close bonds with anyone -- including yourself -- unless you make a conscious decision to change with therapy and counseling -- over the course of your life. And as you probably know, if you can't love yourself, you can never love another.
Could you imagine spending every waking minute with yourself if you hate your life?? In that condition, when you decide to take action -- the only other choice you have to make is whether to do it privately or in public -- put on the big show -- throw a gargantuan hissy fit -- and leave them talking about you after you're gone. It's the "I'LL SHOW THEM" attitude.
That's what Gill and so many others like him have chosen to do throughout history. And if only civilized folks would abandon the "it's none of my business" attitude and instead heed the words of a wise man who said "There are no passengers on space ship Earth, there is only crew!" -- we'd have a lot fewer monsters with a burning need to kill and die in their hearts. Unfortunately, that day is far off.
The vast majority of people on the face of the Earth today have been so brainwashed with toxic bullshit from religion, nationalism and ethnic hatred, that in some respects, most of us are like Gill. We're constantly bombarded with messages that drive us to commit acts (like killing our planet or the infidel or whatever in the name of false gods and ideals) that we would never consider if we weren't all screwed up into believing we're here to consume -- gobble gobble it all up -- must keep the economy healthy and to hell with the national psyche. And there are studies in human behaviour that prove most of us could turn into Nazis and Gills under the right set of circumstances.
Be glad you have the loving family you do -- hug them as often as you need to right now -- and remember to care -- about yourself, your loved ones and your planet.
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